Survive

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She couldn’t remember the exact moment she knew it was over but she’d held the heavy pain of loss in her chest for what seemed like an eternity. For most of the years they had been together.

There were times over their long relationship, the void in her soul would seal up. Sometimes it was only for a day, sometimes for months. Any time there was a glimmer of hope that all would be okay. In her heart, she knew nothing was ever as it seems.

They tried to keep it together, for their children. They were the innocents in this hopeless communion. The strain of fatigue and defeat on her spirit had finally taken its toll. She couldn’t do it any longer, not even for them.

She loved him deeply, and he loved her. They knew they belonged together yet they couldn’t seem to make things work. Both agreed that love sometimes took work yet everyone has a limit of how much they are willing to commit.

Perhaps it was all her. That is what all the professionals she sought out implied. She began to distrust their advice. Maybe there was a conspiracy against her. Like that movie with the Canadian actor. His life, a lie. Merely a character on the television. He went crazy at the end, didn’t he? She felt that she was toeing the line of sanity.

She was confused how things could be so messed up yet he still loved her. He was always there to pick her up off the floor. Some days she could barely stand being around herself. How could they be so far apart yet there for each other at a moment’s notice.

Human nature is an amazing thing to watch. People can be so good together one moment, then shatter into a million pieces, the next moment.

Deep down she knew the ebb of the wave of pain would soon be at it’s peak. She yearned for the flow back to normalcy, as much as she craved the warm sun of the coming spring.

Perhaps the problem was not only hers, it was theirs together.

Little by little, inch by inch, they would make it back. She knew they would, they always did. Maybe this time would be different. She couldn’t let go. No matter how much it hurt. He refused to let go and she always drew on his strength.

She knew if she kept holding on, searching within, she could survive any storm. She always landed on her feet when life seemed to throw her into the hurricane. She would survive.

Kandice LeafComment