This is a Goal I'm Going to Achieve! - Fiction

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“Choose a goal that will allow you to move forward in your life. Goals should be ambitious yet achievable. Pick something that will allow you to push out of your comfort zone and test your boundaries. The goal can stand alone, or it can compliment a bigger objective.” The words leapt off the page and smacked me in the face.

I had been feeling stuck for a long time. So long that I barely recognized myself anymore. I was agitated all the time, my friends barely tolerated me. I had gained a great deal of weight, my Kryptonite, potato chips. The saltier the better. I had given up my membership at the local gym years before. I only used it to secretly stare at the muscular bodies in the weight room.

I had successfully ignored the effects of the stress until I came across a motivational article through Facebook. “Headache, insomnia, weight gain, high blood pressure, tense muscles. These are a few of the symptoms that are associated with stress. The key to decreasing tension is to identify the triggers and set meaningful, life changing goals to find success and happiness in your life.”

Well, I could certainly relate to many of those symptoms. Perhaps it was time to take a deep look inside and make some changes. I was approaching my mid-thirties. Mid-life was taunting me from the horizon. I didn’t want to die alone and angry, with a houseful of cats. My precious felines needed me to live a long, healthy life! I giggled as I imagined my three sisters, their shocked faces the moment they discovered I left everything to my fur babies. Too bad I wouldn’t be there to witness it, I would be dead.

“Stop it! See you ARE angry and spiteful. Get your act together Cindy. You deserve better than this.” My ego kicked me square in the ass and encouraged me, in a not-so-gentle way, to get my priorities straight. I sat down at my kitchen table and composed a list detailing everything that was good and bad in my life.

I wrote everything that came to mind. My amazing, tolerant friends, the boring job I had lost interest in, my fancy sports car which I loved speeding around in, my tiny 500-square foot condo just outside of an ideal location, my lack of a meaningful relationship with a partner, my dead and forgotten dreams. Whatever happened to those dreams anyway? I’m sure they were somewhere deep inside me.

I could pinpoint the moment my first dream was crushed, when I was five. I wanted to become a Fire Fighter when I grew up. My oldest sister laughed at me when I confided in her. “You can’t be a Fire Fighter. You are too small! And… you are a GIRL!” The powerful words still twisted a dagger deep in my soul.

I was saddened by the reality that I had let someone else’s opinion dictate how I felt about myself. Depression and anxiety storming through the open hole in my chest any time my opinions were shot down.

An hour later, the long list widely covered every aspect of my life. Sadly, the negative significantly outweighed the positives, it was clear that I had given up on my aspirations somewhere along the way.

I refused to allow myself to be sidelined any longer. This was my life! Time to take control, to get my act together. Time to follow my dreams. Improve my health and fitness. Achieve the dream career that I knew would give me complete fulfillment. Rediscover my true self and grasp onto the happiness that ached to be released.

I took a deep breath, pulled out a clean sheet of paper and began creating the ultimate action plan for recapturing the joy of life. In big bold, black letters, I scrawled “THE PATHWAY TO FREEDOM STARTS WITH THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP!”

(To Be Continued…)

 

 

Kandice LeafComment